Things are just screwed up lately. Schools going to start in 2 days, there are suddenly a lot of conflicts within my group of friends, this obsessive kid sean wont leave me alone, these bitches who have nothing against me are getting bored and choose to bug the hell out of me, my dads gone crazy. Its just too much to bear right now. Maybe if everything happened in small clumps it wouldnt be such a headache. I wont take anyones advice either, let alone ask for it. Maybe i should. But i wont. Well peace

~Ebon of Haint

Looking around, its wierd to see how similar everyone seems. People i once thought were different are beginning to blend in with others. Everyone is a label. It seems as though the only people that are trully different are the ones who are rejected, not heard. The "nerds." I respect them a lot. And oddly enough, while i was writing this, this song came on launch.

Tell myself, on the ride home.
Getting tired, hating all I've known.
Holding on, like it's all I have.
Count me out, when it's clear that I, find it hard to say.
And you, find it hard to care.

I wanted to see something that's different, something you said would change in me.
Wanted to be, anything different, everything you would change in me.

Got this way, upfront but never true.
God I'm wrong, it's just the way I am.
Crashing down, any chance you hear.
Caving in, any chance that you, could see inside of me.
And I, I'll know what to say, It's fine.
This isn't Hollywood.
So fine, getting in your way.

I wanted to see something that's different, something you said would change in me.
Wanted to be, anything different, everything you would change in me.

I'm taking a chance, this could be different.
This could be all I'm waiting for.
Taking a chance, this could be different.
This could be all I'm waiting for.

I wanted to see something that's different, something you said would change in me.
Wanted to be, anything different, everything you would change in me.

Something that's different (something that's different)

I started writing a song yesterday. i figured out the beginning and the end, i just gotta come up with a middle. Ill paste it when im done

~Ebon of Haint

I went to mikes party the other day and it was pretty fun. We played ghost in the graveyard cuz were cool that way I got to get to know Mikes friends a little better. Then today, i hung out with mike all day again cuz i didnt want to go to the cabin since its mad boring there. And some of his friends were still over, so we rented the exercist and seed of chucky. I might go over Codys tomarrow if my mom gets home in time, since shes still at the cabin. So yea, i really dont have anything else to talk about. I havent written something in a really long time so i think ill go do that.

~Ebon of Haint

Yesterday i was imed by this gay kid sean who i could have sworn was a girl by his screen name and his weak insults and such so i thought he was this girl Vicki. I swear hes bi. Anways, he apparently tried getting me back for tricking him online one time by trying to trick me back, but im not a dumbass like him so it took me like 5 minutes to figure it out while i had to tell him after a month. The funny thing is, he said i was pathetic for iming him pretending to be someone else, then he does the same thing. Hypocritic dipshit... He was too scared to give me his name too. I find that funny cuz he knew i could have kicked his ass in insults.

Me and Cody went to seabreeze and it was mad fun. I ate like everything i saw, heh. The lines were really short, too, so that was cool. Well im gonna go raid my dads peppers, so peace.

~Ebon of Haint

Schools almost here :/ I dont want to think about it. Im not looking forward to it at all this year. Most years i am, but last year sucked and i know that this year will be just the same. I wish i was home-schooled. I dont have many friends in the school besides those who apparently pretend to be my friend for the sake of remaining friends with Cait -.- But then again, im glad im in a lot of classes with Cody Summer was fun for the most part. I had shit going almost every day so i wasnt bored for once. It seemed too short though. Now all i have to look forward to is loads of work and preps. wooo.

~Ebon of Haint

So yea i chilled out with Anthony today and it was fun besides the fact that he spent the whole time making fun of me. But thats nothing new It was friggin amazing how after my mom bitched about bringing me there the whole time (since she seems to for some reason think hes a crazed rapist) he went up and took a two-liter bottle of pepsi from the van and ran off with it when she wasnt looking. Thats amazing. Steve exists to piss people off though cuz the whole time, he kept bringing stuff up that i didnt like and he sucked Anthony into it. Sort of things that im willing to ditch a friendship over. But the subject eventually went away, so its all good. So yea i have nothing else to say, peace.

~Ebon of Haint

Bunch of lyrics and shit i made up to tie in my feelings lately. I hardly ever let anything out. I hardly ever complain or ask for advice... i just cant stand it now.

I think that the truth is I'm scared
I think that I'm just scared to live
I think that the truth is I'm scared
I think that the truth is I'm everything that I hate.

Fuck you for loving me

I thought I wanted this.
I thought I wanted this.

I took their smiles and I made them mine.
I sold my soul just to hide the light.
And now I see what I really am,
A thief a whore, and a liar.
I run to you,
Call out your name,
I see you there, farther away

Im numb to you - numb and deaf and blind.
You give me all but the reason why.

Try to forget you,
But without you I feel nothing.
Don't leave me here, by myself.
I can't breathe.

And you forgive me again
You're my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you

Can't wash it all away
Can't wish it all away
Can't cry it all away
Can't scratch it all away

Whenever something is too unpleasant, to shameful for us
to entertain, we reject it.
We erase it from our memories.
But the imprint is always there

-Ebon of Haint...

I went with my friend Mike and his family to camp for 4 days. It was fun. We went to Sherkstin in Canada and there was a lot going on there. Mike was tired the whole time so we really didnt go to many events, which was fine. I got a little burnt at the beach I better not be tanner than Cait or ill riot. Ehhh i really dont feel like writing more about it, it was nice of his parents to invite me this time but im not sure ill go again.

Well tomarrow im going to my grandparents' for a while in Buffalo so im hoping to do something fun today. Dont feel well so i might go take a shower. Peeeaace

~Ebon of Haint